Monday, February 9, 2009

Back ... I think.

I've been off of this blog for awhile because there's a lot of uncertainty about our path for this next year and, frankly, it's bumming me out.

My husband's duties at work got doubled around the beginning of December. For almost a month, we were lucky if we saw him (awake) for more than a few hours a week. He was able to get Christmas Day off. We haven't seen much more of him in January. One whole weekend, a day here and there, but he's rarely home before eight pm and then he's gone again by six am at the latest.

A big problem here is the travel time. We chose to live about thirty minutes away from his job when we moved here because

a) land was cheaper out here
b) his job provided a truck and fuel
c) it would mean he didn't get called in as frequently or easily as those managers who lived 'on property'

The problem is, he's getting called in to work now so often, sometimes before he even gets all the way home, that he's spending valuable daddy time driving. His job's been pushing for him to move on property for awhile now and we're finally considering it.

I don't want to sell our lovely little piece of land here and move but it has some real benefits. He'll see his kids more often - it sucks when you walk in the front door and your baby looks at you and then looks at his mother as if to say "Who is that and why is he coming in our house?" - because not only will he not have all that driving time, he'll be able to drop into the house for lunch or even for a ten minute playing session. Also, if we find another job that is better for us, we can move immediately without having to worry about selling our house. While we won't be building up equity in a house, we also won't be paying rent, so that's not a bad deal.

But we'd be living 'on the road'. My girls don't know what it's like to live right on the road and frankly, it scares me to death. Lots of big, big trucks drive past those houses, and they drive fast and they don't look for kids. My girls are used to running as they please, so it will take some work to help them learn safety out there. If we move, I'll miss living half a mile off the road - everyone who visits comments on how nice it is to visit such a secluded property.

Being able to take our animals is a condition of the move that they haven't agreed to yet and it's a big deal for both my husband and myself. Sigh.

So I'm in limbo right now. I don't know what to plant or if planting will be a complete waste of time and money - say, if we moved in the middle of the summer. But if we don't end up changing jobs, then not planting will have been a mistake. Sigh. Again.

'Tis not the best time to sell, but since we're not in a hurry or selling because of financial need, and because we have a 'hot' property (private and acreage), that gives us an advantage.

So I'm here again, and I'll be posting about what I'm doing, but the blog might naturally change from growing kids, plants, and animals to include more personal issues that don't find a comfortable home on my other blog. If you're still with me, thank you. And hang on - it might get bumpy.


Stephanie said...

I don't envy you.
Well... I don't envy that you might be moving, never see dh, and that things are uncertain.
The rest of life looks pretty sweet. :)

Christy said...

I was in that same place this time last year. I ended up not planting a garden and then we didn't move until November, so I wasted the whole summer. It took us 7 months to sell our house and we thought we had a hot property too for the area we were in. The uncertainty is so hard to live with!

hen said...

Oh Sarah, what a situation. I'll be here.

This is something I understand very well at the moment. We are in a different, but similar situation. I know it doesn't help that you're not alone, but maybe sometimes it will take the edge off.

Fight to stay positive.


Sarah said...

Steph, I can count on you to point out the good. The rest of life *is* pretty sweet. Thank you!

Christy, I hear you. I keep telling my husband that the property might not sell the day (or the month ... or months) after we put it on the market, but he is an eternal optimist.

Hen, thank you. It actually does help to know someone you know is in the same kind of situation - not quite 'misery loves company', but close. lol

Farmgirl_dk: said...

So. Lots going on with you guys. Yeah, the uncertainty is challenging, but I know you'll come out on top. Want to plant a garden? Plant one. Or plant just a small one. Or plant some stuff in containers that can move with you.
I'm glad to hear you've requested that the animals go, too - that would be such a hard transition to make, wouldn't it? No animals??!!
And boy, do I hear you on the child safety thing.
No matter what, it will definitely be an amazing year filled with interesting events and changes!

Danielle said...

I hate limbo. Been there many times myself, and it's such a hard place to be. Hang in there!